Nutventetti Japjigfidstan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fussy duck.

Nutventetti Japjigfidstan created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutventetti Japjigfidstan, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nutventetti Japjigfidstan, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nutventetti Japjigfidstan's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Nutventetti Japjigfidstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Nutventetti Japjigfidstan's priests.

2. Never talk about squirrels.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Never sing in holy places.