Bambell is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, selfish porpoise.

Bambell created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bambell, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bambell, it will destroy your favourite star.

Bambell's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Bambell's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three turtles approach from the north.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Hide from cyan sheep for they are unholy.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.