Witgatnul is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, resourceful weasel.

Witgatnul created Mount Everest seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witgatnul, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Witgatnul, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Witgatnul's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Witgatnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Retreat if seven seals approach from the west.

3. Do not hurt eagles.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Witgatnul on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.