Timbuslab is a god.

It takes the form of a large, uncaring shark.

Timbuslab created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timbuslab, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Timbuslab, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Timbuslab's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Timbuslab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.