Kipominmut is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, proud mongoose.

Kipominmut created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kipominmut, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kipominmut, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Kipominmut's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Kipominmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to otters while wearing orange coats.

2. Always obey Kipominmut's priests.

3. Run away from yellow aardvarks, for they are unholy.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.