Gofzumbat is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, two-faced mink.

Gofzumbat created Asia five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofzumbat, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gofzumbat, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gofzumbat's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Gofzumbat's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gofzumbat.

2. Run away if seven capybaras approach from the west.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not hurt shrews.