Betladfag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, effective gnu.

Betladfag created the Cigar Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Betladfag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Betladfag, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Betladfag's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Betladfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Hide from white porpoises for they are unholy.