Jiptikven is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, dishonest wolf.

Jiptikven created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jiptikven, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jiptikven, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Jiptikven's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Jiptikven's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white monkeys, for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jiptikven.

4. Do not take Jiptikven's name in vain.

5. Never eat strawberries.