Hapnarladril is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, amazing goblin.

Hapnarladril created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapnarladril, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hapnarladril, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hapnarladril's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Hapnarladril's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt swans.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always take life seriously.