Jinbamveen Fadsin is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, witless scorpion.

Jinbamveen Fadsin created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jinbamveen Fadsin, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jinbamveen Fadsin, it will remove you from existence.

Jinbamveen Fadsin's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Jinbamveen Fadsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Jinbamveen Fadsin on top of all buildings.

4. Always treat bats with great respect.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.