Sidwapgadkik is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet meerkat.

Sidwapgadkik created the Milkyway four million years ago.

If you believe in Sidwapgadkik, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Sidwapgadkik, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sidwapgadkik's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Sidwapgadkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick badgers.

2. You must pray to Sidwapgadkik four times a day.

3. Never feed nuts to sharks while wearing blue jumpers.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.