Haknanbam is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, impressive gorilla.

Haknanbam created time and space two years ago.

If you believe in Haknanbam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Haknanbam, he will be very unhappy.

Haknanbam's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Haknanbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Haknanbam.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Do not chop down trees.