Boncimham is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless donkey.

Boncimham created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Boncimham, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Boncimham, he will throw large rocks at you.

Boncimham's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Boncimham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about gravity.