Tithapcuss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, all-knowing crab.

Tithapcuss created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Tithapcuss, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tithapcuss, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tithapcuss' most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tithapcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help swans in need.

2. Snails are not to be trusted.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always help ants.

5. Pray towards the south.