Babquillkar is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, uncaring shark.

Babquillkar created the Sun five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Babquillkar, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Babquillkar, she will curse you with boils.

Babquillkar's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Babquillkar's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat aubergines.

2. Retreat if eight mites approach from the south.

3. Always treat frogs with great respect.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Feed all hungry monkeys.