Lampongof is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, passionate aardvark.

Lampongof created oxygen seven million years ago.

If you believe in Lampongof, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lampongof, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Lampongof's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Lampongof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Worship no other gods but Lampongof.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Do not hurt frogs.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.