Hampagnill is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, bad-tempered beaver.

Hampagnill created the Cigar Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hampagnill, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hampagnill, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Hampagnill's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Hampagnill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never feed figs to bats while wearing brown hats.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Pray towards the south.