Nurlbitrag Babstigstan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, amazing octopus.

Nurlbitrag Babstigstan created a quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlbitrag Babstigstan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nurlbitrag Babstigstan, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nurlbitrag Babstigstan's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Nurlbitrag Babstigstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Retreat if six ducks approach from the east.

4. Nurlbitrag Babstigstan loves great tits, so they must be respected.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.