Gepdusszustzid is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, confident deer.

Gepdusszustzid created dark energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepdusszustzid, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gepdusszustzid, he will turn you into a dog.

Gepdusszustzid's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gepdusszustzid's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt cats.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not eat wheat.

5. Never feed rice to voles while wearing purple kilts.