Zestkopsas is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, narcissistic swan.

Zestkopsas created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zestkopsas, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zestkopsas, he will try to impress you with trees.

Zestkopsas' most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Zestkopsas' Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Always help aardvarks in need.

5. Never feed spinach to pigs while wearing yellow skirts.