Govgodneg Nartjarnquimbosscusskarabarf is a god.

She takes the form of a large, intelligent gnu.

Govgodneg Nartjarnquimbosscusskarabarf created snails eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govgodneg Nartjarnquimbosscusskarabarf, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Govgodneg Nartjarnquimbosscusskarabarf, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Govgodneg Nartjarnquimbosscusskarabarf's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Govgodneg Nartjarnquimbosscusskarabarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt grasshopers.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Govgodneg Nartjarnquimbosscusskarabarf.

5. Respect your elders.