Budtomteen is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, boastful finch.

Budtomteen created bats two million years ago.

If you believe in Budtomteen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Budtomteen, she will turn you into a tree.

Budtomteen's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Budtomteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Feed all hungry mites.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Budtomteen.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.