Wikmiddun is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, egotistical squirrel.

Wikmiddun created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wikmiddun, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Wikmiddun, it will be very sad.

Wikmiddun's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Wikmiddun's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Run away from purple manatees, for they are unholy.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. You must never eat coconuts.