Lapgod is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-knowing eagle.

Lapgod created the Small Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapgod, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lapgod, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Lapgod's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Lapgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not take Lapgod's name in vain.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.