Tabrillnilten Koncedsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a small, kind lobster.

Tabrillnilten Koncedsaf created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tabrillnilten Koncedsaf, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tabrillnilten Koncedsaf, he will send minions to preach to you.

Tabrillnilten Koncedsaf's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Tabrillnilten Koncedsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never bounce in the presence of aardvarks.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.