Zanbigdin is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, humorless monkey.

Zanbigdin created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanbigdin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zanbigdin, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zanbigdin's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Zanbigdin's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Zanbigdin.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.