Wapsanneljarnpad is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, witty bird.

Wapsanneljarnpad created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapsanneljarnpad, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wapsanneljarnpad, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Wapsanneljarnpad's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Wapsanneljarnpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not take Wapsanneljarnpad's name in vain.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

5. Always take life seriously.