Vadcutgig is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, fast bird.

Vadcutgig created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Vadcutgig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vadcutgig, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vadcutgig's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Vadcutgig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always help sick bats.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.