Pidvolteen is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, smart otter.

Pidvolteen created a photon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pidvolteen, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pidvolteen, he will not invite you to parties.

Pidvolteen's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Pidvolteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Pidvolteen's name in vain.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.