Catnarbonk is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, intelligent capybara.

Catnarbonk created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catnarbonk, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Catnarbonk, she will destroy your home solar system.

Catnarbonk's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Catnarbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never feed apples to eagles while wearing red scarves.

4. Always help rats in need.

5. Feed all hungry swans.