Bemflamnib is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, sage badger.

Bemflamnib created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemflamnib, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bemflamnib, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bemflamnib's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Bemflamnib's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bemflamnib's priests.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not eat nuts.

4. Never go into gray rooms.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.