Gilvedtam is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, cheerful unicorn.

Gilvedtam created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilvedtam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gilvedtam, she will turn you into a hamster.

Gilvedtam's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Gilvedtam's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Retreat if seven cats approach from the east.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gilvedtam.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.