Wandanzuss is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, prudent grasshopper.

Wandanzuss created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wandanzuss, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wandanzuss, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Wandanzuss' most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Wandanzuss' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about otters.

3. Do not wear magenta clothing.

4. Run away from gray hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. Never mention bats.