Flapbatstik Vengedlog is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, pitiless clam.

Flapbatstik Vengedlog created the Cigar Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapbatstik Vengedlog, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flapbatstik Vengedlog, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Flapbatstik Vengedlog's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Flapbatstik Vengedlog's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of snakes.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Hide if three rats approach from the east.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Always look after injured turtles.