Gatmabflam is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, narcissistic giraffe.

Gatmabflam created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatmabflam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gatmabflam, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gatmabflam's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Gatmabflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always look after injured otters.

4. You must pray to Gatmabflam eight times a day.

5. Erect nine silicon sculptures of Gatmabflam on top of important buildings.