Pangzanvegyattdussmab is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fussy hamster.

Pangzanvegyattdussmab created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangzanvegyattdussmab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Pangzanvegyattdussmab, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Pangzanvegyattdussmab's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Pangzanvegyattdussmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pangzanvegyattdussmab.

3. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Do not chop down trees.