Yatpitwan is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, thoughtless dove.

Yatpitwan created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yatpitwan, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yatpitwan, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yatpitwan's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Yatpitwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet fawn.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

5. Pray towards the east.