Vonyarlloop is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, bad-tempered porpoise.

Vonyarlloop created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vonyarlloop, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vonyarlloop, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vonyarlloop's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Vonyarlloop's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Vonyarlloop loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.