Dobvab Tonfascep is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, loving cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Dobvab Tonfascep created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobvab Tonfascep, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dobvab Tonfascep, it will turn you into a slug.

Dobvab Tonfascep's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Dobvab Tonfascep's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt aardvarks.

2. Always help sick snails.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dobvab Tonfascep.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.