Fomflapstaffidfenhit Konfarnhin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, omniscient dingo.

Fomflapstaffidfenhit Konfarnhin created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomflapstaffidfenhit Konfarnhin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fomflapstaffidfenhit Konfarnhin, he will turn you into a plant.

Fomflapstaffidfenhit Konfarnhin's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fomflapstaffidfenhit Konfarnhin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

2. Run away if four goats approach from the south.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.