Jamgarnut is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, omnipotent weasel.

Jamgarnut created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamgarnut, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jamgarnut, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Jamgarnut's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Jamgarnut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Retreat if three porpoises approach from the east.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.