Futgum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, all-powerful mole.

Futgum created the Virgo Supercluster seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futgum, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Futgum, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Futgum's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Futgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Hide if six rats approach from the west.

4. Feed all hungry nematodes.

5. Do not listen to music.