Vonpagcat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, intelligent octopus.

Vonpagcat created the planet Jupiter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonpagcat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vonpagcat, she will make you grow a tail.

Vonpagcat's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Vonpagcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Vonpagcat loves pigs, so they must be respected.