Catnurquartfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unjust yak.

Catnurquartfeb created time and space two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catnurquartfeb, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Catnurquartfeb, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Catnurquartfeb's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Catnurquartfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never hurt foxes.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Catnurquartfeb.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Run away if seven nematodes approach from the west.