Arpvinhat is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, resourceful owl.

Arpvinhat created the Andromeda Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Arpvinhat, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Arpvinhat, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Arpvinhat's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Arpvinhat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Arpvinhat.