Bambitvid Jamzenponkinpigyoklunbom is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, idiotic horse.

Bambitvid Jamzenponkinpigyoklunbom created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bambitvid Jamzenponkinpigyoklunbom, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bambitvid Jamzenponkinpigyoklunbom, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bambitvid Jamzenponkinpigyoklunbom's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Bambitvid Jamzenponkinpigyoklunbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bambitvid Jamzenponkinpigyoklunbom.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.