Rakyartdoddum is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, loving aardvark.

Rakyartdoddum created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakyartdoddum, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rakyartdoddum, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rakyartdoddum's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Rakyartdoddum's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Rakyartdoddum.

2. Hide if eight cats approach from the north.

3. Never mention porpoises.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always help rats in need.