Fudbotkon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, calm porpoise.

Fudbotkon created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Fudbotkon, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fudbotkon, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fudbotkon's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Fudbotkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always wear gray.

5. Run away from pink turtles, for they are unholy.