Kopdonloop is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, deceitful hydra.

Kopdonloop created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopdonloop, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kopdonloop, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Kopdonloop's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Kopdonloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Kopdonloop on top of all buildings.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kopdonloop.

5. Never look at black holes.