Laplunciss is a god.

It takes the form of a small, generous wolf.

Laplunciss created the Black Eye Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Laplunciss, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Laplunciss, it will torture you forever.

Laplunciss' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Laplunciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.